I want to apologize... I intended to send an email much sooner than this, but life got crazy, so I guess I'll tell you about that.
The past couple of weeks have been so strange and very sad for me. My mom died on the 28th, and yesterday was her funeral. In between her death and her funeral, my song Nothing You Can Do was released to streaming platforms and online stores.
The weird thing about that is that I sent that song to my distributor about 5 weeks earlier, and I wrote it a few years earlier. What I'm saying is that I did NOT intentionally plan for that song to come out right after my mom passed, even though lyrically it might seem like that was intentional...
I originally wrote it in 2020, shortly after the pandemic changed all of our lives. I really felt like so much time was taken from me, which led to me remembering other things that have happened in my life where it felt like time was taken from me. Some people felt like they had more time, and if you were one of those, I'm happy that you got some extra time... but all the parents of small kids, the ones forced to try to work from home while also practically homeschooling their kids, I know you guys understand where I was coming from.
Now, the song has a new meaning to me.
The words "Nothing You Can Do" will forever remind me of how helpless it can feel to watch a loved one pass away before your eyes. Especially when they are taken away too early by an incurable cancer, after fighting such a long fight.
And it feels wrong to now talk about my album. That's what I wanted to do, like 3 weeks ago, when I foolishly thought my mom had many many weeks and maybe even months left. I thought she would be able to watch it all unfold with me. And wear a cool Katie Dwyer Lost Time merch shirt or whatever...
Anyway, here's something you may not know:
You might have something of my mother's.
My last big release (in 2021) was a 4-song EP called Indiscreet, and I put a lot of thought and love into my merch. I had a small batch of zipper bags (maybe 20?) made as a limited edition merch item. Each one was a little unique - zipper and fabric colors varied slightly. The canvas fabric was given to my mom from my grandmother and great grandmother. I turned my cursive handwriting of the words Indiscreet into an embroidery file, and my mom sewed and embroidered each bag.
So I want you to know that if you were one of the people that bought that merch package, you have something SO INCREDIBLY SPECIAL. Something that won't be made again! You have a piece of my heart! You have something that was likely touched by four generations of incredible women within my family tree.
Please, please treasure it forever.