I moved.
I started to get worried about the size of our home nearly 6 years ago when I was pregnant with our daughter, and then started worrying again about it when I started working from home as a singer and audio engineer, needing space for editing, recording, and producing music.
I really wanted a larger home - one that I could comfortably work from home in, one that my kids could have their own rooms in, one where I could invite people over and not feel like everyone was crammed onto the same little couch, one with a bigger yard because I absolutely love being able to walk out to my garden and pick foods to eat in the summer.
My heart is so full, because somehow, in this crazy market, we found exactly what I was looking for (granted, it does need a lot of work). I feel lucky though, that my husband and I were both able to look past the stinky stained carpets and dog-poop ridden yard to see the full potential this home could bring to our family. We've been cleaning, ripping out flooring, painting the walls, installing new hard floors, and generally making this place our own.
Don't worry, the smell is gone.
...and then there's the yellow house - the adorable 1880s home with white trim and a picket fence, our first house that we were so proud of buying, where my boys first learned to pedal on their bikes, where my daughter was born (yes, if you didn't know, I'm one of those weird home birthing / freebirthing people), and where I studied music production and created so much of my music (which is probably a big reason you're here reading this).
Don't get me wrong, we've moved before. We have even done some large, cross country moves in the past, but it feels different leaving a home that you purchased. I was convinced for quite a while that our first home was our forever home, because, how could we possibly find the "dream home" I was imagining when everything seemed so expensive and out of reach? Besides that, nothing on the market was what I wanted... but we made the yellow house work quite well, and we were homeowners, which a lot of my peers might envy, so I figured I really should appreciate where I'm at.
Isn't it funny that when you let go of a dream and decide to love and appreciate what you have in the moment, that seems to be when everything changes? Life is like, "oh so now you love your house? K, well here's something else - time to move out!"
And then all of the sudden things are difficult for a while. Change can be hard. Getting exactly what you want can be hard, and usually comes with strings attached. You have to be willing to uproot yourself, lift heavy things, work extra hard, take chances, make loads of decisions, change your budget, change your address on every account that you've ever created in your life, and maybe the hardest thing - completely let go of your "normal" so that you can free yourself to create a new, better version of normal (which might take some time).
I am still working on stepping into my new normal. The school year began, which is helpful to start getting back into routine; however, with so many house projects going on, and so many belongings needing to be rearranged as work gets completed in each room, we haven't fully settled in yet.
One thing I am proud of is the fact that I've been able to continue all my music work throughout this process. I've recorded audiobooks, collaborated with other producers, continued my teaching work with Produce Like a Boss, and I even set up a single to release at the beginning of next month (October 4th to be exact).
This song was actually the last song I created in my yellow house studio.
I have more songs that I'm hoping to produce soon, so maybe Cry Now will be the first of many. I'm not committing just yet, but I'm loving this sound so much that this could possibly be the start of a new album. 🤯 It ties my typical acoustic singer-songwriter sound with a bit of evolving cinematic drama.
If you got this far, thanks so much for letting me tell you about my life, moving, and the new song that will be out soon. Thanks in advance for pre-saving my song, too.
Love you, friends 💕✨