I'm not really an expert at anything.
But I don't hate that! And there are a few things that I seem to be working toward becoming an expert on (albeit slowly), because they are just so interesting to me and I've enjoyed learning more about them.
I like to keep this idea in my head that life is actually really long, and we get to have lots of chapters along the way. This mentality makes it easy for me to stay creative and unafraid of reinventing myself or changing my style. It's also made it easier to allow myself to focus more on one thing for a season or two, before I move on to the next big thing. Looking for balance over a whole lifetime seems better than striving for balance on a daily basis. After all, if you don't try something new, how will you ever know if you love it or not? Or maybe you have some sort of natural talent... How would you ever find out unless you tried it?
So anyway, this has led me to becoming pretty darn good at singing, songwriting, collaborating, marketing, website and image design, coming up with product and business ideas, registering music to collect royalties, narrating /voice acting for audiobooks, recording, editing, mixing, mastering, performing, playing guitar and ukulele, composing, writing lyrics for briefs or custom song requests, teaching or coaching, public speaking, managing social media accounts.... but I'm not necessarily an expert at any of those things. It's like a million very part-time jobs!
It also sometimes makes it hard to explain what I "do" since I do so many different things, and my answer can drastically change depending on the project I'm currently working on and the things I got hired for that week. This idea of an inconsistent schedule and inconsistent pay scares most people. I probably should have clarified, too, that much of what I'm describing here is outside of my own "Katie Dwyer" artist projects. This is my work-for-hire life that I'm describing.
Most artists like me have a regular day job, and they do their artist thing on the side. I would say as far as money is concerned, I make more working for other artists and producers than I do pursuing my own artist career, but I am still really happy with where I'm at. I'm in a place where my "million part-time day jobs" assist me in becoming a better indie artist. Every time I get hired to tune someone's vocals or edit and mix their songs or arrange and record backing vocals for them, it's not only paying for all my kids' school lunches, dance, music, and ninja classes (kids are expensive), its valuable practice for when I'm working on my own music. It's making me more efficient as a self-producing artist.
Honestly, I used to feel SO BAD about these aspects of my personality. I felt like I was not a good, responsible "grown up" unless I was following a strict routine and had a "real" full-time day job with benefits. And since I'm a mother, I had this idea in my head that I wasn't a "good mom" unless my children were also provided a rigid structured routine as well.
I've since learned that having a looser routine is pretty normal for people like me, who are naturally spontaneous and thrive in new experiences. I've also learned that there are huge benefits to allowing kids to get bored (boredom is what happens right before creativity!) and that their routines are more enjoyable for all of us if they are the ones choosing what they want to focus on throughout the current season they're in. A rigid structured routine where all activities have instructions and are heavily supervised leads to kids that don't get a lot of experience decision making and creative problem solving, which are great skills to have as young adults.
I'm not meant to eat the same breakfast every day at the same time in the same place. I'm not meant to have a super structured daily routine. I'm not meant focus on only one aspect of the audio world for the rest of my life and become the biggest expert on it. And when I go against my own nature, try to listen to the "niche down and become an expert" gurus, attempting to force myself to be more like this made-up idea in my head of what a responsible adult is, one way or another, I always seem to suffer for it.
All this to say -- I'm really glad that I've been able to shift my thinking in this department and start liking myself the way I naturally am. Maybe I am a part-time everything, and maybe most people wouldn't thrive in this lifestyle, but who's to say that that's wrong for me?
Maybe some people are meant to be wild and creative part-time everythings.
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Wow. Sometimes things just seem to fall into place. ...and then I remember that, no, nothing really magically fell into place. I waited a long time and worked really hard in order for all these things to "fall into place" now. Still, it feels like another example of how time can feel so weird. Sometimes it seems like its dragging on, or there's not enough of it, other times the years have somehow flown past. I'm also reminded of a quote, I'm realizing how vague I'm being... You're probably thinking "What the heck is this email about??" My merch for my new album is here early. & the canvas tote bags are even more "jumbo" than I had anticipated (see below). I plan on keeping a black one and cream one for myself as the perfect "gig bags" to carry my cables, mics, etc. to venues. I also received the physical copies of the CDs a few days ago. |
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As if I didn't have enough going on right now, I have had strep throat all week. I think I'm out of the contagious phase, but it's been a frustrating week of vocal rest while wishing I was practicing! I also have felt like I couldn't really talk about being sick because I have a performance tomorrow that means a lot to me (something I agreed to do more than two months ago), and I absolutely HATE the idea of breaking an agreement. I've never broken a signed agreement and it takes A LOT to take my voice out. While uncomfortable, I can definitely still sing, so, the show must go on! I'm opening for Rowan Grace at Riggs Theater. I'm a self-producing indie artist who uses lots of methods to express myself (including these emails). I don't know Rowan, but I do know that she is famous now because she was on the show, The Voice, which is a competitive singing show. So, I imagine that her fans are less interested in the art of storytelling through lyrics in an emotive style, and more excited about the idea of singing competitively - high notes, powerful belting, fancy vocal runs, covering or impersonating famous artists well, you know - that stuff. I hope my indie artist songs and streppy voice will be enough to please everyone. Or rather, to please the people who are attending to hear me and any new people who are open to my style (because lets face it, trying to please everyone is a losing battle). & who knows! Maybe between her and I, everyone there will will find some part of the show enjoyable. Anyway, getting to the main point of the email finally So if you want a specific size shirt, order before my show tomorrow night so I can set it aside for you and NOT sell out of your size. My code LOSTTIME is still active (put the Lost Time CD in your cart and after hitting "checkout" and entering LOSTTIME as a promo code, anything else in your cart will be 15% off). |
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The past couple of weeks have been so strange and very sad for me. My mom died on the 28th, and yesterday was her funeral. In between her death and her funeral, my song Nothing You Can Do was released to streaming platforms and online stores.
The weird thing about that is that I sent that song to my distributor about 5 weeks earlier, and I wrote it a few years earlier. What I'm saying is that I did NOT intentionally plan for that song to come out right after my mom passed, even though lyrically it might seem like that was intentional...
I originally wrote it in 2020, shortly after the pandemic changed all of our lives. I really felt like so much time was taken from me, which led to me remembering other things that have happened in my life where it felt like time was taken from me. Some people felt like they had more time, and if you were one of those, I'm happy that you got some extra time... but all the parents of small kids, the ones forced to try to work from home while also practically homeschooling their kids, I know you guys understand where I was coming from.
Now, the song has a new meaning to me.
The words "Nothing You Can Do" will forever remind me of how helpless it can feel to watch a loved one pass away before your eyes. Especially when they are taken away too early by an incurable cancer, after fighting such a long fight.
And it feels wrong to now talk about my album. That's what I wanted to do, like 3 weeks ago, when I foolishly thought my mom had many many weeks and maybe even months left. I thought she would be able to watch it all unfold with me. And wear a cool Katie Dwyer Lost Time merch shirt or whatever...
Anyway, here's something you may not know:
You might have something of my mother's.
My last big release (in 2021) was a 4-song EP called Indiscreet, and I put a lot of thought and love into my merch. I had a small batch of zipper bags (maybe 20?) made as a limited edition merch item. Each one was a little unique - zipper and fabric colors varied slightly. The canvas fabric was given to my mom from my grandmother and great grandmother. I turned my cursive handwriting of the words Indiscreet into an embroidery file, and my mom sewed and embroidered each bag.
So I want you to know that if you were one of the people that bought that merch package, you have something SO INCREDIBLY SPECIAL. Something that won't be made again! You have a piece of my heart! You have something that was likely touched by four generations of incredible women within my family tree.
Please, please treasure it forever.
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